Embracing The Unknown

By Padma Gordon

For caregivers of loved ones living with a rare disease, grief is often a continuous companion. This week in our support group, we explored what it means to lean into anticipatory grief. Making room for difficult emotions takes courage. It asks us to turn toward what we would rather avoid and acknowledge realities that can feel overwhelming. In Western culture, we often avoid conversations about death and aging, yet contemplating the mortality of a loved one can bring our own mortality into sharp focus.

One of the greatest challenges of caregiving is learning to live with uncertainty. We cannot control the future, the progression of a disease, or the outcomes we wish we could change. What we can control is how we respond to what is here, one moment at a time. It takes practice to stay present with fear, sadness, and vulnerability, especially when facing the possibility that a child, spouse, grandchild, or other loved one may die before us. Finding your footing with grief means learning to be with the unknown rather than constantly trying to escape it.

Many caregivers cope by researching and gathering information, and that makes sense since knowledge is power. At the same time, it is important to nurture yourself by noticing beauty, leaning into your faith, and making life very small when things feel overwhelming. Take the next step, and move one step at a time. Pay attention to the moments that bring you joy. As you navigate the heartbreaks of caregiving, remember that you have a choice about where you place your attention. Caring for yourself helps you become more resilient and better able to recognize what is still good, even in the midst of life's greatest challenges. Learning to lean into the hard stuff is a practice, one that develops over time with patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to meet life as it is.

Coming Up Next Week: Saying the Hard Things (Stage 5: How to handle worries about End-of-Life)

Description: We will discuss the different stages of acceptance you go through when family life gets medical. Receiving a diagnosis impacts the adults in the family as well as any siblings and often extended family members. The structure of your family can change in an instant. There is a lot to accept and integrate. Holidays can be particularly difficult now.  How do you talk about the hard things when you barely know what you are feeling? How do you stay present with yourself and skillfully communicate with your partner, your children and others close to you about the changes you are experiencing as a family?  Join us to shine the light on blocks to communication and learn skillful tools for how to say what you really want to say. 

Please Join Us for the Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST.

You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.

Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881

We look forward to being with you soon.