Boundaries as an Act of Self-Love
Boundaries are an act of self-love. They keep us safe from the perils of our own inner critic, prevent us from saying yes to draining activities, and help us refrain from indulging in unhealthy habits. Boundaries are, in essence, a way of holding our own hearts.
Internal Boundaries
Our internal boundaries create gentle yet firm borders around negative self-talk. For example, as you navigate the many responsibilities of caring for your rare child, you might notice yourself thinking, I should do this or I have to do that. Instead, try saying, I want to do this because I love my rare child, and it feels true for me to do it.
When we use the word should, we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. You may even feel your body tense up as anxiety arises. The same is true when you find yourself thinking, I have to do this. Why haven’t I done this? Approaching ourselves in this way rarely feels like an act of love. Shifting our inner dialogue to one of choice and compassion supports both our well-being and our capacity to care for others.
Healthy Boundaries
As a Raregiver, you may want to prioritize self-care — including how you nourish yourself through food, rest, and movement. Remember, you don’t have to choose between caring for your rare child, your family, or yourself. You can learn to do both by staying present and connected to yourself as you attend to the tasks at hand.
When you include yourself in the equation, you create a more balanced and sustainable way of living — one that honors your own needs as much as the needs of those you love.
External Boundaries
Sometimes, we also need to set boundaries with our rare child. For instance, if your child is repeating themselves over and over, you may feel two things at once: joy that they are speaking after years of being nonverbal, and frustration at hearing the repetition. Both feelings are valid.
It can be helpful to set a boundary after you’ve validated what they’re sharing, for example, by saying, I hear you, sweetheart, and then taking a pause before frustration builds. Doing so helps you stay calm and loving while also honoring your own limits. Giving yourself permission to set healthy boundaries opens the door to freedom and integrity in yourself and your relationships.
Coming Up Next Week: Acknowledging You Have Needs
When your Rare child is in need of full-time care, your life changes drastically. You may need to stop working or increase your work hours due to greater financial demands. When you stop working, you may lose touch with work contacts and feel isolated. You have less time for yourself and the relationships with your partner and other children. Creating habits and routines can be helpful.
Life can be stressful and it’s important to recognize you have needs and your needs matter because when your needs go untended, your capacity to care for your Rare child and family will suffer. In this session, you will learn how to discern what you need and practice the building blocks for making skillful requests.
Please Join Us for the Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST.
You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881
We look forward to being with you soon.
