Aligned Friendships: Essential qualities of a True Friend

By Padma Gordon

This week in our Raregivers Emotional Support Group, we explored what it means for someone to be a true friend when your life has changed in profound ways. Many raregivers shared how friendships can become awkward, strained, or confusing as their reality shifts. At the same time, some of the most surprising people may show up for you in deeply meaningful ways. A true friend is often someone you don’t have to explain yourself to, who can see through your eyes, empathize, and walk beside you through both the good and the challenging moments.

We talked about how friendships exist in layers. Some friends are wonderful walking companions, while others are the ones you can call at any hour, no matter what. We also reflected on the importance of noticing the quiet kindnesses around us — the grocery clerk, the postman, the gardener tending roses that will bloom again in spring and how these moments nourish the heart.

Expectations came up as a major theme. Often, expectations lead to disappointment, so we practiced the idea of expecting less and appreciating more. Letting people know what you value about what they are doing, rather than focusing on what they aren’t can shift relationships in beautiful ways. Some people say, “I’m here for you,” and stop there, while others cross an invisible line and offer exactly what you need before you even know you need it.

Finally, we spoke about how difficult it can be to receive help. Receiving is a muscle, one that strengthens with practice, and how if you have the bandwidth to create a simple care manual , this can make support easier and less stressful. As you relate to friends, practice listening to your body and notice what being in alignment with yourself feels like; somatic awareness can guide you toward relationships that feel safe and true. Most importantly, remember to care for yourself in all of your relationships, including with your partner, who may also be your closest friend. Raregivers who practice self-love are learning how to be true friends to themselves first and foremost.

Coming Up Next Week: This is ME! – The Power of Being Seen and Heard

As a caregiver, you are the leader of a team of people who support your Rare family. In this session, we will discuss what it takes to foster healthy relationships with the professionals and family members who are on your team.  Communicating with others who love and care for your Rare child requires presence, acknowledgement and diplomacy rather than people pleasing or domination. Healthy communication happens when both parties feel seen and heard. Please bring your wisdom and any questions you may have. This is certain to be a rich discussion where you will leave with practical tools to help you uplevel your communication skills. How would your life change if you could clearly speak your truth? 

Please Join Us for the Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST.
You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.

Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881

We look forward to being with you soon.