A Holiday Season With More Compassion, Connection, and Ease
The holiday season can be joyful—and overwhelming. For Raregivers caring for someone with a rare disease, disability, or medically complex condition, this season often carries more emotional labor, medical logistics, and quiet grief than anyone else can see. This year, instead of squeezing yourself into expectations that don’t fit your life, consider this your invitation to move through the season with more compassion, connection, and ease—starting with your own nervous system.
Begin Here: Two Breathwork Practices to Ground and Clarify
1. Three-Center Breathing: Belly, Heart, Head
This simple sequence brings your whole system online.
Place one hand on your belly, inhale gently into the lower abdomen and exhale fully from your belly center. Repeat for three breaths.
Move your hand to your heart, inhale into your chest and exhale fully from your heart center. Repeat for three breaths.
Place your two fingers on your forehead between your eyes. Inhale as if you are breathing into your mind’s eye or forehead and exhale fully. Repeat for three breaths.
Repeat 3–5 times, letting your awareness move down through your whole body.
This helps settle emotional overwhelm and reconnects you to yourself—not your to-do list.
2. Alternate Nostril Breathing: Calm + Mental Clarity
Perfect for moments when you feel scattered, anxious, or overloaded.
Using your right hand, block your right nostril with your thumb.
Inhale through your left nostril.
Close the left nostril with your ring finger; release your thumb.
Exhale through the right nostril.
Inhale through the right, switch, exhale through the left.
Continue slowly for 1–3 minutes. This technique balances your nervous system and sharpens focus—crucial for Raregivers who must often think clearly under pressure.
The Heart of a Gentler Holiday
Setting Compassionate Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t walls; they are doorways that protect your energy and peace.
A few ready-to-use scripts:
“We’re keeping things simple this year for health and energy reasons.”
“We can join for a short visit, but long gatherings don’t work for us.”
“We would love a virtual visit this year.”
Energy Boosts + “Sips of Self-Care” You Can Do in Minutes
Raregivers can’t always take long breaks—but small shifts can revive you.
Step outside for two minutes of air.
Put on one song that changes your state.
Sip a favorite warm beverage slowly for the first three sips.
Stretch your spine: reach up, roll shoulders, shake out tension.
A micro-journal moment: write 3 things weighing on you, circle the one you can set aside
A “do nothing” minute—literally
Take a break in nature to recharge. Hug a tree, put your bare feet on the grass, hear a birdsong, feel the sun or wind on your face.
These are small enough to fit into any caregiving day and powerful enough to shift your internal state.
Flexible Traditions That Honor Your Reality
Traditions should support your family—not strain it.
Consider:
Celebrating on a different day
Hosting “pajama holidays” at home
Short, sensory-friendly gatherings
Virtual visits instead of in-person ones
One-dish potlucks where you are not responsible for the meal
Quiet celebrations with lights dimmed and expectations softened
You are allowed to adapt, shrink, or reinvent the holidays entirely.
Asking for Help or Resources
Raregivers often carry the invisible load alone.
This season, practice asking—even in small ways.
“If you're going to the store, could you grab these three items?”
“Could you sit with us for 30 minutes while I shower or rest?”
“Would you mind prepping one meal this week?”
“Could I just vent to you for a few minutes without judgement?”
Help doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.
Self-Affirming Statements for Tough Moments
These holiday truths are for you:
“My presence matters more than perfection.”
“Myrest is an act of care”
“It’s okay to choose what’s best for my energy.”
“My love is present even when I feel overwhelmed”
Zero Guilt for Canceling or Changing Plans
You live a life that requires flexibility, constant monitoring, and rapid response. If plans shift, drop, or dissolve entirely? That’s not failure. That’s caregiving reality.
You have permission to:
Cancel on the day of
Change the time
Leave early
Switch to virtual
Say no with kindness and finality
Protect your energy above expectations
A Season That Holds You, Too
This year, may you notice the small moments of beauty, the pockets of quiet, the support that shows up in unexpected ways. May you feel seen, honored, and grounded—even in the messy, unpredictable reality of caregiving.
You deserve a holiday season that meets you where you are—with more compassion, more connection, and much more ease.
Coming Up Next Week: How To Communicate Hard Things
We will discuss the different stages of acceptance you go through in a Rare family. Receiving a diagnosis impacts the adults in the family as well as any siblings. The structure of your family can change in an instant. There is a lot to accept and integrate.
How do you talk about the hard things when you barely know what you are feeling? How do you stay present with yourself and skillfully communicate with your partner and your other children about the changes you are experiencing as a family?
Join us to shine the light on blocks to communication and learn skillful tools for how to say what you really want to say.
Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST.
You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881
We look forward to being with you soon.
