Living Between Hope and Hopelessness: The Raregiver’s Path
Today in our Women’s Empowerment Circle, we dove into the theme of hope—what it feels like, how to stay connected to it, and what pulls us away from it. For Raregivers, this isn’t a theoretical conversation. It’s deeply personal. Navigating the intense demands of caregiving—specialist appointments, endless paperwork, emotional strain—can often make hope feel out of reach. But as Brené Brown reminds us, “Hope is a function of struggle. We develop hope not during the easy or comfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort.” And for Raregivers, adversity is a frequent companion.
When hopelessness begins to creep in, self-compassion becomes essential. There will be days when you’re drowning in logistics, exhausted by repetition, or emotionally wrung out. And yet, time and distance often reveal how far you’ve come. Everything changes—nothing is permanent. Still, it’s easy to fall into the trance of “always” and “never.” That’s why reframing is so vital. If you catch yourself thinking “it’ll always be this hard,” pause. Look for “joy spots”—those 10-second moments of beauty, warmth, or ease. Your child’s giggle, a soft shirt, a flower in bloom—these micro-moments are not trivial; they’re essential. They restore and resource you.
In those challenging moments—when your Rare child repeats the same thing over and over or when you’re running on fumes—patience and kind boundaries matter. Recognize your capacity and your child’s, and speak to them in a way that builds understanding and connection. Then honor your own limits too. Being a Raregiver means walking the tightrope between hope and despair, between showing up for others and not abandoning yourself. Celebrate the small wins, the quiet progress, the mere fact that you got through another day. Take the moment. Go out for ice cream.
And remember: life is happening in your favor. “If it’s for you, it won’t go by you,” says the old Scottish proverb. That includes this community. You may not know how much you need the Raregivers community until you’re in it—but once you’re here, you’ll feel it. Join us every Tuesday at 10 AM Pacific. We’re here, waiting, with open arms and full hearts.
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881
Coming Up Next Week: The Courage To Show Up To Sadness
The thing about sadness is that it is universal. You will feel sadness if you are human. Brene Brown says, “ To be human is to know sadness. Owning our sadness is courageous and a necessary step in finding our way back to ourselves and each other.” Raregivers may experience a different flavor of sadness than other parents and this sadness deepens you if you are willing to feel it. In our group today, you will have the chance to share about your sadness and an opportunity to discover ways to grow your capacity to lean into it. When you are willing to feel the sadness, it changes and you have more energy to meet the moment exactly as it is. When we come together as a community to be held in our feelings, we are connected and this connection can help us feel that we are not alone.
We look forward to being with you soon.
