Finding Your Way After Caregiving

By Padma Gordon

What is it like to step into a new identity after the loss of a loved one you have cared for over many years? In our support group this week, we explored what can support you through this challenging time, what can make it difficult, and how to find your way when caregiving has been such a central part of your life.

One thing that can help is welcoming the feelings that arise and practicing deep self-compassion. Give yourself space to experience your emotions as you begin to discover a new purpose or a new place to focus your energy after such a devastating loss. You may feel depressed, disoriented, empty, or unsure of who you are now. These feelings are part of the process. In time and with patience and support, you can trust life's unfolding.

You may also find comfort in believing that the person you love is in a better place, while recognizing that you are experiencing the pain of separation for now. Treasure your memories, and remember that feelings are impermanent. When you allow yourself to feel what is present, you can begin to digest and metabolize your grief. What remains is the love you shared. The person you love will always live in your heart.

Some Raregivers are still working full-time while providing care. You may be contemplating whether to shift your work schedule, reduce your hours, or step away from work in order to spend more time with the person you love. You may wonder, What is the right choice? Am I working too much? Can I do both without failing at either one? These are deeply personal questions. It is important to tell yourself the truth about what you need and what is sustainable for you. Not everyone is able to be a full-time caregiver, and recognizing your limits is not a failure. It is part of finding balance between work, life, and caregiving.

Self-care enriches the quality of your life, especially during times of uncertainty, grief, and change. Self-care may include creative expression, such as writing or music, movement, swimming, spending time in nature, resting, or being with people who help you feel seen and supported.

Coming Up Next Week

Theme: 10 Essential Tips for Sustainable Raregivers™: Replenish with Self-Care(10 Tips for Sustainable Caregiving and Graduation Certificate Ceremony)

Raregivers can become depleted at any stage of the journey. At times, even thinking about your own needs can feel like one more thing on your to-do list. Yet it is important to start somewhere. Small acts of self-care can help interrupt the cycle of stress, overwhelm, and depression.

It takes practice to put your needs first. As you do, you will have more energy to care for yourself and others. Take some time to connect with who you were before you became a raregiver. What did you enjoy? What inspired you or brought you pleasure? What filled you up when you were feeling drained or down?

We will come together to drink from the well of our pre-caregiver selves. Join us for an uplifting session. For everyone who completed the 12-week series, we will also host a celebratory graduation ceremony.

Please join us for the Women’s Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10:00 a.m. PST.

You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.

Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881

We look forward to being with you soon.