Anticipatory Grief
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We explored anticipatory grief in our Women’s Empowerment Circle this Tuesday. Anticipatory grief is a very tender topic which invites you to be with hard feelings, to sit, breathe and open to everything that is arising. In moments when you feel overwhelmed by the depth of feelings that is washing over you, ask for help. We are here to support you.
Resilience
Resilience is built over time. Self-care is not something you can put down even when you are feeling good and like things are flowing. This is the time to continue making deposits into your self-care account with moments of silence, prayer, meditation, exercise and such. Each moment you take care of yourself is a contribution. Taking time to be quiet even if it's one or two minutes at a time builds resilience. Moments you spend in your inner sanctuary, the sanctuary of love creates a safe space to welcome your feelings. In order to lean into the range of feelings that accompanies anticipatory grief, you need to trust that you are held in love. This inner space is vast and the more you visit it, the more it reveals itself to you. This is your sanctuary, a place you can rest. Small sips of self-care add up to an ocean of self-love.
Embrace Uncertainty
When you are able to get comfortable with uncertainty, the uncertainty of a surgical outcome, or the uncertainty of how much time you have left with your Rare child, you will feel a sense of freedom. It's good to know that you can deal with whatever comes up. One of our participants said that she reminds herself, “I don't know and it's OK.” What if it really is OK to not know because the nature of life is to not know? The only thing you can control is how you respond to what shows up.
Lean In
Research shows that those who are able to embrace anticipatory grief will far better when a loss actually happens. That said, it's important to titrate. There is no need to fixate on losing your Rare child– the reality is that something could happen at any moment. Any day could be their last day or yours. Sometimes you need to breathe and grieve, while at other times you might choose to simply say “no” to those thoughts. Set a boundary with catastrophic thinking if your mind is saying, "What if? What if?” You can pause, breathe and say no to going down that rabbit hole.
Noticing
Being present, and noticing the little things and where beauty is peeking out from behind the garden wall can be very healing. Maybe you explore macro photography, which insists that you slow down and look closely at the world around you. It invites you to embrace beauty, slow down and be exactly where you are. Presence is the key to enjoying life fully.
Join Us
Coming Up Next Week: Self-Care: Becoming Resourced & Resilient
As a Raregiver, it can be easy to lose yourself in caring for your Rare child or children. You may experience a radical shift in your perspective on life and being the parent of a Rare child becomes your primary identity. When this happens, self-care often falls away or drops to the bottom of your impossibly long to do list. Priorities shift and you dive headlong into learning everything about your child’s Rare disease as well as managing their care each day. Please join us for a conversation with other Rare caregivers who are finding ways to resource themselves as they care for their Rare families. Come ready to expand your self-care toolkit. Bring an open heart and trust that you have wisdom to share.
Please Join Us for the Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST
You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88974713173
We look forward to being with you soon.
𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪
