Fill Your Tank With Self-Compassion
By Padma Gordon
What would it be like to be a true friend to yourself? As a caregiver, you spend so much of your time offering love, attention, advocacy, and care to someone you love that your own needs can easily fall to the bottom of the list. Receiving your own loving attention is a gift. Taking even a few minutes each day to turn toward yourself with compassion can be a way of filling your own tank and building resilience. Give yourself some grace and some space. The more you practice slowing down and offering yourself compassionate attention, the steadier you will become as you ride the waves that accompany a life of caregiving which includes navigating the medical establishment, insurance companies, extended family, and the many people on your care team.
It can also be useful to bring a little humor to the process and remember you are human. Self-compassion doesn't always come easily. For many caregivers, the critical mind can be quick to point out what you could have done differently or what you might have missed. When you notice the voice of the Inner Critic, see if you can interrupt it and offer yourself some kindness instead. Notice your successes. Acknowledge the decisions you have made based on what you knew in that moment. You are doing the best you can with the information, resources, energy, and circumstances available to you. Learn from your mistakes, celebrate your successes, and resist the temptation to be hard on yourself.
Practice being kind to yourself when you trip and fall. Get up, dust yourself off, and begin again. This is not about getting everything right; it is about learning how to stay in relationship with yourself through all of it. And the beautiful thing is that the more you practice self-compassion, the more naturally compassion can flow toward others. No matter what you are doing or not doing for the person you care for, remember that one of the most important things you can offer them is your love. A hug. Your presence. Your heart. You don't have to be perfect to be deeply loving.
A practice for you: Begin intentionally practicing self-acknowledgement. Each day, take a few moments to name something you did well, something you handled with courage, or simply something you appreciate about yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. Make the choice, again and again, to be kind and generous with yourself. You are worthy of the same compassion you so freely offer to everyone else.
Coming Up September 1st: Growing Up in the Shadow of Rare Disease: The Sibling Experience
In this discussion, we will explore the often-overlooked experience of growing up with a sibling who has a Rare disease. When a family’s time, energy, attention, and resources must understandably be directed toward the child with greater needs, siblings may grow up feeling second priority, unseen, or responsible for not adding to the family’s stress.
They may become highly independent, take on adult responsibilities too early, suppress their own needs, or carry feelings of guilt, resentment, grief, and loneliness. Together, we will make space to acknowledge these experiences with compassion and explore how siblings can better understand the impact of their childhood, honor their own needs, and begin to heal.
Join Us for the Women's Empowerment Circle every Tuesday at 10am PST.
You may not realize how much you need the Raregivers community until you find it.
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84782918881
We look forward to being with you soon.
